Thursday, January 7, 2010

Fine! I'll stop denying it!

Over the past few weeks, lots of people have told me that I'm different. That I'm more human. That I'm more sensitive toward situations surrounding me and those around me as well. Apparently, this is a good thing so I'm not complaining. But they also did say that, although on the outlook, I'm happy, smiling, laughing and enjoying life, they are convinced that deep down inside, in life, I'm depressed and lonely.
I don't know what gave them that impression then and I always told them that I'm not what they say I am. I'm really fine! Things are really good! Blah Blah Blah! But they always kept telling me that I should let it all out and not keep it inside me. I really didn't know what the hell they were referring to - I really didn't - Until yesterday!!
I shall stop the denial. The running away. The ignorance! The "I don't care" attitude.
Depressed - No! But lonely maybe. I guess when you try something and it always fails, you just give up. You just get tired of trying anymore. Too much effort with very negative ROI. Maybe I will die alone, maybe I won't but at this point, although I am lonely, I know that I am also heartless!

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