Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Daily Profession Jokes

I've taken a pledge that I will provide whoever that reads my blog, a little bit of humor on a daily basis. Most blogs talk about the bloggers life, what they did and what they feel - which I shall continue coz at times I can be quite vain but in addition, I will also list out some jokes to brighten everyone's day and life.
Starting this week, I'm going after "Accountants" coz they are just fun loving people who crunch numbers all year long and take their bonus and spend it within 1 night. So, here's a tribute to some good Accountant jokes. Enjoyzzzz!!!!

1. Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."

2. A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer.

3. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night.""Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

4. Why accountants don't read novels?
Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

5. Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.

6. A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary." When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

Pick-Up Lines to use on Accounting Chicks
- You've got a lovely pair of W-2's.
- Please, baby, let me withhold you.
- Nice assets.
- Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
- In my office, I.R.S. stands for I'm Really Sexy.
- Let's fill out a 1040 - you are a 10 and I'm a 40.
- If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?
- Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.
- You're entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income... now let's do it.
- You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her.

How accountants do it...
- Accountants do it by the book.
- Accountants do it within budget.
- Accountants do it to the bottom line.
- Accountants do it with double entries.
- Accountants do it between spreadsheets.
- Accountants are Certified to do it in Public.
- Accountants do it without losing their balance.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Rest In Peace

The world has truly lost a talent. From "Thriller" to "Bad" to "Heal The World" to "History" to "Invisible" - Michael Jackson has left a permanent mark is the world and in our hearts. Childhood is one that he never had but his persona, talent and entertainment, is something that we all grew up with. Amazing how an individual who didn't have the luxury of a normal childhood can influence so many others childhood.
King Of Pop is no longer with us. As the famous tagline goes ' "Michael has left the building!" and this time, for good.
The nation mourns, cries and live in sorrow when we learned that he has left earth and all his loving family behind. Media went from pounding him with negative remarks to highlighting his contribution to the world. Suddenly the child molestation cases and charges were secondary. It should never have been primary to start with.
Michael never had a normal life. In fact, he hated his paretns for depriving him of such a life. From the tender age of 4, Michael was put under the spot-light and was expected to perform. He was the talent that made Jackson 5 - he was the Jackson and the rest were the "5"!.
Sure he went and did some weird things to himself but it's his life, his nose, his body, his hair and his eyes - he has every right to alter, change or modify what he didn't / doesn't like. Maybe some of the choices were not well thought through but that's something that he needs to deal with and not the world or the media.
Once a young black male, Michael left the world as an adult white male. The world tortured him enough. The world was cruel enough towards him. The world as he knows it to be - did nothing but punish him. He was close to kids. He wants to have them around. He wanted to give them everything that he didn't have growing up. He wanted them to have a "childhood" growing up.
Is that bad?
I think now that he's gone, we should all just let him be and pray that he rests in peace.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Casual Fridays!

Friday is a day when everyone kicks back and really chills out coz tomorrow is Saturday and it's the weekend. Ladies let their hair down, guys put on their jeans to work (in most firm's at least) and the bosses just don't give a shit about what's happening around them.
I work in a company where in the past, there was an M.D. who just didn't approve of casual dressing on Friday's which kinda sucks if you ask me. I mean, you're in a tie or a suit Monday through Thursday working your ass off and the least you can be rewarded with is casual Friday's coz it gives you the freedom to dress down for work and at the same time be dressed enough to party at night. Just coz some bosses don't have a life doesn't mean the rest of us don't right.
My boss at that time was all about relax work environment. There are some things that he believes in that I don't but we disagree to agree. I don't believe in wearing a tie to work unless of course it's a special occassion which demands for high level of professional outlook. I do have tie's and nice one's too so for me, it's more of a special treat when I wear them.
For months, I use to get the third degree from my colleagues (certain of them) and they would say things like; "Wah! So relaxed ah you?", "Hey, got dress code la here!" and things like that. But after awhile, it all stopped because they realised that it isn't really worth it to pick on small matters.
Here's my thoughts:
1. When you're in the office, there really isn't a need to be in a tie coz all it does is restricts your head and shoulder movement and it is kinda uncomfortable to be in it all day.
2. Wear a tie when you meet customers - this I agree. Especially when you're in sales and constantly out meeting clients, then a tie is good.
3. Make sure your shirts are ironed.
4. Make sure your pants are ironed and decent. Don't wear super tight pants, etc.
Now, about Friday's, there is absolutely nothing wrong in being casual on a Friday but one needs to remember that casual means, smartly dressed and presentable. This means, no torn jeans, funky colored shirts, sneakers, etc.
Every Friday, I'm in work shoes, with jeans, short-sleeve shirt and a blazer / jacket. That's casual and relaxed but yet very presentable.
Every Friday, people ask me why I'm dressed so smart - imagine, wearing a jacket automatically makes you smart - cool world huh - so simple to satisfy. And every Friday, I tell them the same thing - "I want to be different. Everyone is dressed up during the week. I want to be dressed up only on Fridays." I love my colleagues - really I do! They are a sweet bunch!
We should all exercise the right to be casual on Friday!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A Little Bit of This.....A Little Bit of That....

Random ramblings - that's what's gonna happen here. So, I spent my Saturday putting up paintings in my house. Apparently, my house resembles too much of bachelor-hood and that isn't good. So, I got a friend who knows how to use a power-drill (yes! I know how to use it but am just lazy) and he came over and sorted things out. So I now have 2 paintings up my walls at home. Am still sorting out the other stuff that I need to put up.
Today has been quite hectic - too much information upload at work - so many things to be done. Stress level is beginning to build up but it's worth every drop. Stress = work = I have a job!
Future wise things are looking pretty positive both of a social family level and career as well. It's amazing how much exposure one can get with credible media coverage.
Finally got my very own dream machine. I know I had gone back and forth with my choice of dream car but at the end , patience did severely pay off. Spent some dollars on maintanence upgrade and now it's pending cosmetic upgrades which to my surprise isn't what I expected it to cost. Much lower actually! Which can be scary coz it only means my mind is set on blowing that cash set aside. Promised certain people in my life that this would be the last thing that I would spend ridiculous money on. :)
I've given up the idea of buying myself a super-bike as there is just way too much resistance in doing that from people around me. Maybe when I hit mid-life crisis this would become an option again.
A big part of my concentration is now on doing some minor reno in my life to make it less of a bachelor pad and more of a home. My parents are sayin that I'm living a life that isn't too healthy - both physically and mentally. Geezz!! Just too hard to please everyone.
Am thankful for the friends I have and those who have stuck by me through thick and thin. Thanks ya'all.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Oooookkk......I am now convinced that Maxis hires complete idiots, imbeciles, morons and dumb-asses!! Just this morning, I spent an entire hour with this girl called Swapna who at the end told me that my case has been solved and that they have done the paperwork to credit my account for a total of 4 months dispute.
Then in the afternoon another idiot from Maxis calls me and tells me that my case is pending and that he just got approval to credit back only 2 months of the dispute.
I guess they really don't know what they are doing there and no one talks to each other!!
Complete morons. CELCOM HERE I COME BABY!!!!!


Let me share with you my worse experience with our “so-called” country’s best mobile network MAXIS!! There is nothing special about them; in fact, they are so F%#@ED up that they make Spice Girls look intelligent. This is what happened.
End of January 2009, I had called up Maxis Customer Service to do a switch of call plan because I just got a new phone and knew that I was going to be online very frequently on that device – so the smartest thing to do is to get the best available plan. Clever of me right. So, I first called the 123 number and spoke to some Indian guy who gave me details of the plans available. I then told him that I will call him back with a confirmation.
When I did decide which was an hours later, I was attended by a Malay girl this time. So, I went through the plan with her and told her that I wanted to switch my plan to the new plan which is:
RM150 call plan; RM99 unlimited Internet usage & RM8 for a bulk of 500 SMS’s per month.
Pretty straight-forward right?
I was then travelling quite a bit and didn’t think too much about my high phone bills as I assumed they were roaming charges – WRONG THINKING!!!!
In April 09, I didn’t do any oversea travel and so logic says that I should have a much lower phone bill right – nope! My bill was RM900 over and this was when I decided it’s time I reviewed my bill. Guess what I discovered? My plan was only switched for the basic call plan but Internet usage is per-use charge. So, my call charges were RM170 and the balance RM850 over is for Internet. Freaking ridiculous and I was furious at this point.
I called Maxis customer care and asked for an investigation. I spent half hour explaining my case and was told that they will put it a dispute in the system. They said they will call me back.
2 days went by and nothing. So I called them back and spoke to someone else – so I had to go through my entire explanation again only to be told, “We will check on this and get back to you”!
Another 2 days went by and guess what – NO ONE CALLED! So I called again but this time my patience had run out, my blood pressure had shot up and my anger was out of control.
I very politely told the girl on the line that this isn’t her fault but because she attended the call, she will need to listen to me and all the bitching I’m going to do for the next 10-15 mins. She was shocked! After going through the whole things AGAIN with her, she said that the case has been escalated to her higher authority and they are waiting for the higher superiors to approve the waiver (I will tell you the amount later).
At this point I told her that I’ve heard this before all her non-pro-active colleagues and I honestly think it’s a bunch of bullshit. I also explained to her what the issue is and also was nice enough to offer them a solution – “Review the telephone conversation between the customer service agent and myself in January 2009!!!!” That was the obvious solution right??? For smart people that would have been the first thing they would have done but Maxis hires complete idiots and imbeciles. After all the yelling, she tells me that someone will call back and she guaranteed me this.
5 minutes later, some Malay guy calls me to tell me the exact same thing the girl told me and he got a piece of my mind.
Today – May 3rd 2009, was the final straw. I had already decided to switch to Celcom due to the level of care that Maxis demonstrates to their customers and also the lack of responsibility and lack for the sense of urgency. I called Maxis again – this was my 5th call and a girl called Swapna (very helpful and nice girl) answer the call. I told her that I wanted to check on the status and she said that the waiver has been approved and they are just waiting for the paperwork. It was a relief to hear that – Maxis messed up and that it was their fault. I did indeed request for a change of plan but their idiotic dumb-ass customer service agent didn’t update the system. Shows the level of intelligence of these people – all they need to do is update the plan and even that they can screw up!
So, final conclusion – they fucked up, I was right but I had to chase them to get things fixed. Imagine if I hadn’t checked my bill??!!!!
So, the total credit that I will get back from Maxis and I’ve requested that they give me a cheque is RM4,800!!!!!!!!!! Imagine how much they’ve been stealing from you!
This has really made me think and has me convinced that Maxis is actually one of the country’s biggest thieves!! Shame on you all for stealing from us!
Let’s see how long the cheque takes to get to me!
For all those reading, trust me when I say this – MOVE TO CELCOM!!!!
If anyone from Maxis is reading this – SCREW YOU AND YOUR DAMM SERVICE!!!!!
To the management of Maxis, send your staff for some “Intelligence and Competency” courses and put yourself through it too dumb-asses!!!!!