Monday, February 23, 2009

Stand-Up Characters......

I've noticed that everyone has a certain topic that is repeated every month or week on their blog - either it's about their clothing, or getting to know someone, about a brand, movie reviews, etc. So, I decided to jump in the band-wagon! Typical right - no originality at all man!
But, my originality comes in the form of the characters that I choose - which is why my repeat topic would be "Stand-Up Characters". This can be about anyone - stand-up comedian, stand-up friend, stand-up mentor, stand-up colleagues, etc. For now, I'm gonna start off with "Stand Up Comedians" coz GOD knows that we all could use a laugh every now and then.
George Carlin - my first encounter with him was in the U.S. A friend of mine came over to my crib for some beers and herbs and he brought with him this DVD to watch which we watched 4 times that night. The first clip of his goes something like this so sit back and enjoy as he tells you what age is all about!!
p.s. This isn't my work so all credit goes to George Carlin.

George Carlin's Views on Aging:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life !You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there.
Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Party in Jakarta

OH!MY!FREAKING!GOD! Have anyone of you been to Jakarta and partied? It is insane dude!! And I mean IN"f&%^*ing"SANE! I don't think the party ever stops in Jakarta. My experience was incredible - literally shows you what money can do (not that I have alot of it but in Jakarta, everyone is a billionaire!!!). Anyway, it was a holiday that I've been waiting for ages coz I just needed a break away from Malaysia - somewhere no one can reach me over the phone, no emails, etc. So I went for a break with my brother and another friend of ours - also my brother!!
This is my brother on the left and our friend Sudesh. We had dinner at this restaurant in Jakarta called Lara Dutta or something like that but the food was fantastic.
Since we were on holiday, we literally freaked out. Went to this club called Club 36 - combination of karaoke and club in one building. Of course we were drinking Black Label and we were VIP's - money talks here.
Some of the people that we met at the club - people in Jakarta are very very friendly and always willing to help and guide others. And plus, these girls party real hard - harder than Malaysian people.
Some of my friend's friend.
This is one of the dancers at the club who reminded me so much of a colleague of mine - like they are twins or something. This girl is called Nam and she is from Thailand.
The famous Flaming Lamborghini shot - the trademark of my brother in getting people super drunk!
This is me and Nick (the one in the center) who works with Interlocal in Jakarta and he really sorted us out with the super VIP access and car and driver. He tha man!!!
Of all the people that I met during my stay here, this girl is probably the most interesting person. She is actually an engineering student and works part time in the club as a hostess - when I say hostess, I really mean hostess!! Not PR!!
Overall, my holiday didn't consist of any sight seeing except for some shopping that I did in Blok M - bought 6 t-shirts, 2 shirts and a cap from Polo Ralph Lauren for RM400 total! Beat that punks! My holiday was about eating, drinking, partying and getting buzzed and happy - something that I can no longer do in Malaysia due to certain matters - need to maintain ma!
My next vacation spot - Amsterdamm!!!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Johnnie Walker 1805

In July 2005 Johnnie Walker, one of the world’s top whisky brands, celebrated the birth of its founder with the release of this special edition blend specially created by the Johnnie Walker Master Blender, Jim Beveridge. It has been made with the best whiskies, which are all at least 45 years old and have been predominantly selected from distilleries that no longer exist.
Only 200 bottles of the special blend, created by the makers of the luxury whisky Johnnie Walker Blue Label, were ever produced and none have ever been available for retail sale. Experts estimate the value of the whisky to be well over £10,000 per bottle. The whisky is best sampled with a glass of ice chilled water to refresh the palette. I best describe my experience with Blue Label as an explosion of taste. It's one of the label's of the Johnnie Walker family that I will absolutely not share with every Tom, Dick & Harry but rather with close friends and family.


What is life without laughter! What is life without smiles! Here are a few things that I came across that made me smile, giggle, laugh and cry (cried coz stomach was painful after all the laughing).

Believe it or not, these ads actually found their way into newspapers all over the world:
1. Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
2. FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
3. Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.
4. For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.
5. Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour.
6. Lost: small brown poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
7. For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
8. Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
9. Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
10. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
11. Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.
12. Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.
13. Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
14. Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
15. Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.
16. Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.
17. Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.
18. Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.
19. Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
20. Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts
21. Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out while. Better be reward.
22. Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175.
24. Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
25. Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.
26. Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
27. German Shepherd, 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
28. Snow Blower for sale…only used on snowy days.
29. Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products."
30. Cows, calves never bred…also 1 gay bull for sale.
31. Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.
32. Hummels – Largest selection ever. "If it’s in stock, then we have it!"
33. 1 man, 7 women hot tub. $850/offer.
34. Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks.
35. Harrisburg Postal Employee Gun Club.
36. Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Ford Mustang, 5L, Auto, Excellent condition $6800.

The things that people think of these days!!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I recently decided to take a drive to Genting Highlands. The last time I went there was in 2002 - alot have changed since. Can you believe that I almost got lost heading there - good thing (which is quite rare in this country) that the signage on the highway was pretty decent. Genting was genting as usual. This is what I conclude about that place - families travel there for some relaxing time - men throw their kids at the theme park, thrown their wives at the mall and they then gamble their wealth away - I lost big gambling as well - a whole RM20 in slot machines - now I gotta work O.T to make that cash back.
I always wanted to visit the Ripley vault so this was great and I met the world tallest man - he didn't have much to say coz he was made of wax! but he was good company. Agreed to all my views in life without any negative or positive feedback.
This was the world's first ever deck of cards produced!
The original Siamese twins - can you imagine having your brother stuck to you all the time - while you shower (in this case shower together), while you eat, sleep, driving must be a mission and worst of all, when you're having sex - geezzz.....eeeww!!!

This dude just looked weird caged up and all.

The worlds smallest show and BIGGEST shoes. Step aside Ronald, you've got a match you clown!
This guy is interesting - apparently he was the only human being that can stand in a human size microwave with a piece of raw meat and walk out unharmed with a cooked meat. Speak about keeping an eye on your cooking!
Now, this is suppose to be the world's luckiest chair - I will need to say it's only lucky in getting you "some-some" - if you know what I mean. Besides that, everything I asked for was no where in plain sight.
Who needs cookware when you've got this dude.
Ancient Indian's doing the small head sacrifice.
This guy got stabbed with this iron rod through his face and when he went to the doctor, he was advice that if the rod was removed, he will die. So guess what he did - he kept it and lived another 30 years. I think this is even worse than living with a Siamese twin stuck to you all the time.
Another guy in africa who has a piece of wood pierce through his heart - same doctor he went to coz he never removed it and lived longer than he expected. Literally having someone break your heart.
This guy was a frequent diver in the U.S. and during one of his diving adventure, he encoutered a difficult moment with a shark. He was bitten by the shark but he survived to tell the tale.
A baby coffin - pathetic and sad.
This is a human neck-chain that was used in ancient times to tie people.
A tiny living space of a midget.
This was a boat ride within the resort where is automated but has this weird looking doll at the back which is creepy!!
Some of the inside look & feel of the resort - where most rides are for the families.
Another shot of the weird dude at the back of the boat.

Outdoor shot of Genting from the heights.
Another beauty shot - iPhone takes good day-time shots!
Overall, it was nice being there for the day. Loved the cool weather and the lovely scene. It's definitely not a place to stay over and spend a few nights if you don't gamble. The food is expensive and the rides are ok! only!